Tuesday, June 14, 2011

You Get What You Get

And you don't throw a fit. A favorite saying of teachers and moms everywhere I am sure. And in our house, it is a rule I frequently reference (although Evelyn does not seem to be interested in following this rule. at all.). These last few weeks it has been a hard rule for me to model, however. I'm a big believer in the modeling aspect of parenting and it is my greatest goal. Since I don't want my kids to yell at each other, I try very hard not to yell at them (am not perfect). If I want them to pick up their shoes, I should pick up mine as well (again, not perfect). If I don't want them to throw a fit because today was the day Thomas should have had a follow up appointment and had his cast removed and we should all be swimming tonight and planning more summer fun and outings for the weekend and Father's Day but we are not because his appointment was delayed 9 DAYS, N-I-N-E D-A-Y-S (or in Zoolander's spelling D-A-I-Y-E-S), then I can't throw a fit, right? Truthfully, I have thrown some fits. On the phone to Mike or my mom or Carole, or alone in my room. Because I'm just soooo tiiiiired and he is soooo heeeeeavy and Evelyn wooooon't stop insert one of the following a) throwing fits herself b) putting things in the toilet c) making a mess d) wanting to be held, especially when I am helping Thomas e) waking up in the middle of the night f)basically being 18 months.

There are a couple of truths here I am trying to focus on.

One. This is not that bad. I have spent enough time in Children's Hospitals, waiting rooms and therapy sessions to know.

Two. Patience is a virtue, and one I have prayed for many times, as well as humility. It is not for me to decide how God chooses to teach me these things, but it is for me to learn them in the lessons he sets forth.

Three. It is quite possible that when our surgery had to be bumped, this same thing happened to another family. And we have been bumped so that the amazing surgeon that has helped my son can have another day of surgery to help more children. Big picture, here.

Four. This is how character is built, our marriage is strengthened and our family is bonded. And those are things I desperately want for my family. I can already see such amazing growth in Olivia and Thomas. (Evelyn is just so young and really only gets that she wants her mama, now, and mama's busier with brother than she used to be, and she is not a fan of that). And I can see how our marriage has only been made stronger with a greater trust in God and one another.

My dear, wise friend Joan had this quote at her desk years ago. I have it copied and found it today on my own desk under a stack of papers.

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

This may not be the summer I had planned, at least for sure the next nine days, but the one before me has lots to offer. If I can just stop kicking my feet, punching my fists and get up off the floor to enjoy it!


Carole said...

I love you!

redsmom2 said...

Oh Molly, I needed to read that maybe even more than you needed to write it! Yet another reason I Love Molly! As I'm pulling my hair out with a 19 month old who is doing everything Evelyn is doing ( plus some), you help me remember that sometimes it's the big picture and end result that matters, not the now.

I'm so sorry you guys are having to wait longer. Im sure it's getting harder and harder to wait! Hang in there.

Mama Bear said...

Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

PS~Erin said...

You're amazing. I know you didnt write this to hear that, but you are. Those three precious kiddos are blessed with you as their mom. Love you!

Kim said...

Great post, Molly. Thank you for sharing. We are praying for your sweet family.

Lipe Family said...

Great post, Molly! I needed that today, as well :) I hope that the next 9 days fly by for you guys!

Big D and Me said...

You are so strong Molly! Love the quote